LANGKAWI, MALAYSIA–Believing it is time to look for a more diplomatic approach when dealing with natural disasters, the delegation of China urges nations to create a subcommittee within ASEAN designed to negotiate with earthquakes, floods, volcanic eruptions, and tornadoes, rather than fight them.
“We always hear animal rights activists clamoring about how dogs are people too, but we never hear about the rights of natural disasters, despite the fact that they may be open to negotiations,” notes China Foreign Minister Wang Yi, who claims natural disasters are simply misunderstood.
“The international community needs to understand that natural disasters can be dealt with, without having to create expensive and unnecessary protocols. The key is compromise. People are going to die, whether we prepare for it or not. The question we need to be asking ourselves is how many people are going to die. That is what we try to work out.”
Natural disasters have shown a willingness to cooperate as long as they are presented with sufficient sacrificial tributes. By throwing 100 homeless people into the Sea of Japan every month, DPRK Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un has successfully stopped major catastrophes from tearing through his country.
DPRK’s Ministry of People’s Security has released a statement in regards to the negotiations: “This is by far the most wonderful milestone in North Korean history since the Supreme Leader took power. There have not been any recent typhoons, and the streets have never been cleaner of shameful degenerates. It is truly a win-win situation.”
Using DPRK’s initiative as evidence, China pleads to commence talks with Cyclone Lam, which has already swept through Queensland, Australia, and cost the state approximately $37,000,000 in past month. Cyclone Lam is predicted to hit Japan’s coastline within two weeks.
If negotiations with Cyclone Lam start soon, the ASEAN committee can potentially save thousands of lives.
“We always hear animal rights activists clamoring about how dogs are people too, but we never hear about the rights of natural disasters, despite the fact that they may be open to negotiations,” notes China Foreign Minister Wang Yi, who claims natural disasters are simply misunderstood.
“The international community needs to understand that natural disasters can be dealt with, without having to create expensive and unnecessary protocols. The key is compromise. People are going to die, whether we prepare for it or not. The question we need to be asking ourselves is how many people are going to die. That is what we try to work out.”
Natural disasters have shown a willingness to cooperate as long as they are presented with sufficient sacrificial tributes. By throwing 100 homeless people into the Sea of Japan every month, DPRK Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un has successfully stopped major catastrophes from tearing through his country.
DPRK’s Ministry of People’s Security has released a statement in regards to the negotiations: “This is by far the most wonderful milestone in North Korean history since the Supreme Leader took power. There have not been any recent typhoons, and the streets have never been cleaner of shameful degenerates. It is truly a win-win situation.”
Using DPRK’s initiative as evidence, China pleads to commence talks with Cyclone Lam, which has already swept through Queensland, Australia, and cost the state approximately $37,000,000 in past month. Cyclone Lam is predicted to hit Japan’s coastline within two weeks.
If negotiations with Cyclone Lam start soon, the ASEAN committee can potentially save thousands of lives.